The Problem Gift

The cold weather settling into our days is a cool reminder of the holiday time that is fast approaching and the spirit of generosity and hope that this time of year brings to all of us. It’s also, unfortunately, a hectic time of year when we find ourselves running around shopping, baking and preparing all the things we “need” to make this a special time for those we love.

It seems no matter how much we plan, we never have enough time to do all the things we want to do. Add to that, there is always one person who seems impossible to buy for. This can be the biggest challenge of the season, finding the perfect gift for that special person. That’s what I was doing yesterday, looking around for a gift for someone that is very hard to buy for, and having very little luck. This was going to be this year’s “problem gift”. We all have one of these each year; that one person who has everything that we can think of, but we still want to find something special for them. As irony dictates, this one gift purchase can sometimes be the bane of our existence during an otherwise joyous time of year. Our goal of bringing joyous warmth to someone else can leave us out in the cold of frustration.

I’ve slowly come to understand that many of the gifts each of us receive start out as these problem gifts. We are all special in someone’s eye. Even if we don’t know it, we have all been the recipients at one time or another of a gift that took endless hours to find or create.

Problem gifts however, come in two forms. There are the kind I just mentioned, the ones that take endless hours to find, and then there is the gift of a problem itself. It’s the gift of a problem itself that I have found can be a true blessing.

When I’m deeply troubled by a problem, I may ask or pray that the burden be lifted away because I don’t feel strong enough to move it myself. Experience has taught me that the burden is not likely to be removed, but instead I am given the gift of building my own strength by working to overcome the problem. When I ask for patience, patience is not magically bestowed on me, but instead, an opportunity to be patient. When I ask for the capacity to control my anger, I’m not given the gift of tranquility, but find myself in circumstances in which I might become angry, and am provided the opportunity to practice composure. When in need of the gift of love, I’m granted the gift of an occasion to show love first.

Maybe that’s where I went awry. I’m spending my time trying to find the perfect gift for my bride but perhaps I should just spend that time with her, telling her how much I love her.

Problem solved.