A moment in time....via email.

It was just a simple set of email exchanges. Myself and some life-long friends were emailing back and forth, attempting to find a common date we could all go to Washington to see a ball game and celebrate Kevin’s impending marriage. These are guys I don’t see every day but still feel very close to. Each of us has gone through lots of life’s ups and downs and we’ve always been there for each other. This trip was just another example of that -- celebrating a good friend's finding of the love of his life and catching up together for a few days.

When the newest email popped onto my screen from Pete, I opened it quickly to see what weekends he was available so we could continue to narrow down our target dates. His email though, turned everything on its head. His father’s battle with cancer had been declared futile and he, of course, was going to stay close to home to both share in as many moments as he could with his father, and to be there in case what now appeared to be inevitable, happened. My heart dropped, having just lost my own father I knew all too well what Pete was going through. As I considered his situation and continued to read the remainder of his short note, I was held hostage by his closing statement. It simply read: “I love you all.” I just stared at it. Did I know that he loved me? Sure I did, but we are men and men sometimes play these silly games where we word smith ourselves out of fear and stupidity. I myself do it. I might sign an email or a card with “Love from all of us,” or “Love,” or “God Bless.” Pete, however, did not have the inclination or the fear in this particular moment to couch his closing. As I re-read that line over and over I could feel his love as strongly as I could feel his pain; the pain that stopped him from editing himself.

Maybe it’s age; maybe as we get older we don’t muzzle ourselves as much. Maybe it’s maturity or confidence that we know who we are now. Perhaps it’s a gift that we’re given by those who are leaving us. A graduation present into a new awareness of what’s really important in life. All of our lives the people we love give us little gifts that we’re not really aware of; maybe this is their final offering to us. I really don’t know what causes it, but it’s moments like these that make me want to get over my petty little hang-ups and tell people how I really feel about them. Not because the moment may be lost, but because a moment may be gained.

So emails may just be emails, but sometimes they are much more. When they are honest and untainted, they can turn everything on its head.