Can a simple handshake create a special moment? It did for me. There are all kinds of handshakes. There is the business handshake that is usually firm, but cold. There is the awkward handshake of meeting someone new; tentative and unsure, and the handshake of a good friend in a time of need that is strong and compassionate.

One handshake that I will always remember is also the most elaborate one I’ve ever done. It was a handshake that I had actually done hundreds of times before with my nephew, but in this particular moment in time, I learned much more about him and my relationship with him. I was one of those uncles who would get down on the floor with the little kids and play. At some point, Tyler and I created an elaborate handshake that was all our own. It had many grandiose movements that went from basic handshaking to intertwining our thumbs and raising our hands in unison, flapping them to look like a bird flying through the air. This handshake, which was reserved for just the two of us, ended with what I call a man-hug. A short hug that you might see on a football field or basketball game between two players. Suffice it to say that when we celebrated our family get-togethers, we always performed our special greeting to the seeming amusement and smiles of others. At some point, although I don’t exactly know when it happened, Tyler grew up. His was no longer this young child who played with me for hours on the floor. He’s in high-school now, and was in middle school, it seems, just yesterday, when this handshake took on new meaning for me.

We were at his basketball game; my wife and I walked into the gym after it had already started, and watched his team win. At the end of the game Tyler, still in his uniform, bounded up into the stands to say hi. He approached me, and as I stood there, all his friends and classmates around talking and hanging out, he looked at me with this grin that told me without a word, that we were going to do the handshake. I shook his hand, complete with all the traditional grandiose movements, in that gym filled with strangers and all his peers. Up in the bleachers, on a virtual stage, I realized that our relationship was more important to him than the risk of being embarrassed or picked on by his peers. When I was his age, would I have made the choice he just made? I don’t know. In that moment in time, after our crazy little handshake, in the middle of this gym filled with kids and adults, friends and strangers, I realized that Tyler was going to be a strong and solid young man who knew who he was. And although 25 years his senior, it was just the first of many moments that I would learn something from him.