My Friend

It was a few years back that I had the sad task of attending a wake for the wife of a man I used to work with. I did not know his wife well, but I had the greatest respect for this couple and how they lived their lives. They had a strong family, a moral base on which to live their lives, and they chose to be happy; to express and experience joy whenever possible. Art, the now widowed man, was a role model for me. He worked hard, was intelligent, and conducted himself in such a positive way it was hard not to notice. He was the epitome of joy and passion. Everything he did was done with 100% of his being. He truly lived life and those around him fed off his energy.

Although I had not worked with Art long, he had an immense influence on me. I looked to him as a mentor. Many years my senior I held him in high regard. He was all the things I wanted to be but mainly I was in awe of his ability to do things that could be interpreted as foolish or silly. I used to think that he couldn’t care less about what other people thought of him but as years passed, and I matured, I came to acknowledge that he did care. It was just more important to him to bring people joy and to do the very best he could in everything. He knew that by putting one’s self out there, by taking risks, you make mistakes, you grow, and you learn. To this day I work on being more like him, pushing myself past my comfort zone again, and again.

With all of this reverence for him, I walked through the receiving line to express my condolences on his loss. I didn’t know what I was going to say to someone that I had looked up to so much, but like so many other times, he took the lead. He hugged me, shook my hand and thanked me for coming. After a short exchange he then did something that I remember as clear today as the day it happened. He looked to his family standing next to him and introduced me saying; “This is my friend Patrick.”

“My Friend”? Really? I held this man in such high regard, separating myself from him; I was the student, he was the teacher and adviser and he considers me a friend! I knew him well enough to know that this was not just some passing comment. What a gift! In his time of sorrow he gave me an incredible gift, one that empowered me and continues to have a powerful influence in my life. In this small communication, in this moment of mourning a blessing was bestowed. From that moment forward I’ve tried to give that gift to others, and every time I think I might be doing it, I think of Art.